Welcome to Week 8 of Weekly Commentary…There was a lull there between weeks but I needed to will my squad back to .500. Now that I’m there after a few nailbiters, I’m ready to type some product…..I never said it’d be consistent, folks. Never once promised such a thing. But we’re both glad something’s up…me writing and you reading…So let’s hold hands and tiptoe through the bullets, shall we?
- I didn’t forget about Joseph Randle. Please understand that I could never forget about that buffoon.
Randle was arrested for stealing Polo underwear and cologne. Would you like to know what the name of the cologne was?
THEN the arrest video leaks and he finds a way to throw a couple of teammates under the bus, mentioning how they’re still free even though they did some stuff too…http://deadspin.com/cowboys-rb-joseph-randle-cracked-jokes-in-jail-asked-f-1652772787
And then he fumbled the ball on Monday Night? If only he held onto the ball with as strong a grip as he held onto that tester cologne and 2pack of underwear…oh well!
- I love how the media tries to praise the new coach when an old coach gets a pink slip via interoffice mail. Jim Harbaugh’s riding the Singletary wave, Trestman’s ridden the Lovie Smith wave for a season and change and Jim Caldwell is currently hanging ten for the Detroit Lions riding Jim Schwartz’s roster from last year. There have been some improvements for this team (especially their record!) but as we saw in London, this team makes it hard for itself. A team with this kind of swarming defense is dancing perilously close to the edge. I’m trying not to lose my head about these Lions because they’re succeeding despite a lot of fumbles, foibles and tomfoolery (AND I own Megatron in a few leagues so I NEED the production) but giving all praise to Jim Caldwell for “righting the ship” and “turning this around” is media spin. This is the talk that gets fans’ hopes up for future seasons and when he faces some true adversity, ol’ Stoneface McGee won’t be able to make it work and next thing we know, he’ll be an analyst on some fifth rate sports show…
- LOL @ the New York Jets display versus Buffalo, on offense of course. Rex and the gang can’t put a functional passing offense on the field for consecutive weeks. No matter how good Geno looked versus the Packers way back when and versus the Patriots that Thursday night, he just doesn’t look like he’s got what it takes to lead New York to the playoffs…hell…he can’t lead them to a winning record. And now with Percy Harvin in the fold, the Jets know how the Seahawks felt those first few weeks of the season. Forcing the issue to your speedy new playmaker isn’t going to help offensive continuity. Decker, Ivory, Amaro and Kerley should be the main focus with Percy sprinkled in as a decoy early to throw teams off but NOPE. Marty Evening-wheg just HAS to make Percy the focal point while New York continues to look like fecal matter. Is there a chance they win another game this season? Their fans sure hope so…
- If I see another person blow their ACL while celebrating a sack….Lamarr Houston, what are you doing? What’s the point of doing a sack celebration when your team’s getting washed like a townhouse in the suburbs? C’mon now. At least Stephen Tulloch got Aaron Rodgers in the 1st half…SMH
- Colt McCoy is lord and host. King of Kings. His rightful place is on the golden throne, decreeing that we’re not worthy of looking him directly in the eye…..wait…Aren’t we supposed to give oral congress to every backup QB to RG3 when they succeed? No? Oh….
- Jerry Jones has a pair on him. Swooping down to the field like a vulture and flapping his leathery wings around, he basically forced Jason Garrett’s hand in putting Tony Romo back into the game. Romo wasn’t healthy after his back injury (DUH!) and lacked zip on his throws upon his return. But he shouldn’t have been in the game to begin with. If Dallas trusted the “process”, they’d hike the ball and hand off to Murray and pass only when they needed to. That’s been the motto so far this season and once the lights are brightest, you revert back to old Cowboy football. SMART. I’m not guaranteeing victory if Brandon Weeden stayed in and just handed the ball off but putting Romo back in endangered him to more danger from the Redskin blitzers and could put him out for MUCH longer. Jerry couldn’t see the forest. He just wanted to chop down that one tree SO BAD…
- J.J. Watt chastising Zach Mettenberger for taking selfies prior to the game reeks of that “get off my lawn and pull up your pants, youngster” guy…I”d give him the sack celebration but the postgame commentary left a sour taste in my mouth…like a swig of hydrogen peroxide.
- Well, well, well…the teardown of the Seahawks doesn’t seem to be working so well, does it? What have I heard the past few weeks? Percy Harvin is cuffing up his teammates and it got swept under the rug, Russell Wilson’s too close to the front office, isn’t “black” enough, and needs to curb his endorsements going forward. ANYONE who has a catch against Richard Sherman is described with Smithsonian detail. Every turnover is a potential backbreaker and every yard any team gains is ONE YARD TOO MANY.
OH NOES, SEATTLE IS IN TROUBLE!
Stop it, cinco. The Seahawks will be fine going forward, barring injury. I think that’s the only thing that could derail this season for them. Injury. The sabotage that’s coming from outside reeks of jealousy and envy. The Seahawks may have a likable figure as the “face” of the franchise (Russell Wilson) but Seattle’s a bunch of heels to everyone else. No one likes Pete Carroll. Marshawn isn’t a teddybear. Sherman’s mouthy ways don’t rub people the right way. The Seahawk style of play (physical, heavy on intimidation on both sides of the ball) is one people don’t always embrace. So anything that looks like a loose thread gets pulled with the force of an Olympic strongman. Leave them alone, media. Because you might be only fueling them for the 2nd half of the season.
- Please get LaDainian off of my night time football analysis shows. PLEASE. If you won’t do it for me, NFL Network, do it for the children! Yeah he knows what he’s talking about when it comes to running the ball but his “insight” on why certain teams are successful make me cringe. I heard him give props to Heath Miller for the Steelers success this season. HEATH MILLER.
- Last but not least…I’m excited by all of this rookie production @ the WR position this season. Kelvin Benjamin, Benjamin Cooks, Martavis Bryant, Donte Moncrief, Mike Evans are just the tip of the iceberg so far…That’s a testament to these players being athletic marvels with rare measurables (speed, catch radius, etc) who are on teams where stats are piling up like junk mail by the front door.
But I’m a little wary for the veteran wide receivers going forward and their salaries going forward. Why?
Let’s look @ running backs for a second. What happened to the value of the veteran running back? Outside of a few outliers, the running back position is expected to be immediately successful VERY early on… and what does that provide an organization? CHEAP LABOR. I hate to look at players that way but trust me, these 32 teams have called them worse…Anyhoo…back to the point…So these teams get cheap labor and veteran running backs, who were once key pieces to any offense are now seen as expendable pieces. And what do expendable pieces get paid? Yeah, you guessed it. Not much. Excuses are made: they don’t speed to the edge, no more burst, can’t pick up the blitz anymore, can’t move the pile, they’re injury prone, etc…and that stops the money from rolling in.
So a league that relies so much on a key position has managed to take the money out of the position. Interesting.
So I worry about wide receivers going forward. Let a couple big name WR’s get paid and then flop while the rookies coming into the league start showing out early. Watch the narrative change. Watch how teams don’t need a clear cut number one receiver anymore because they’ve got 3-4 guys who can do it all…So guys expecting to get paid like Calvin Johnson are going to get paid like Stevie Johnson. And the excuses will start rolling in for them too: can’t get off press, too slow, unreliable hands, always injured, can’t run routes, no speed, not as effective as his younger counterparts…
I don’t claim to know it all like Clarissa nor do I believe this is a conspiracy to keep the QB position swimming in money like Scrooge McDuck..All I ask is that you keep an eye out. That’s all I ask…If I’m right, you know where you read it first.
All right all. It’s been real but I must go and make the most of the day ahead of me.
And like the Lakers season (YES, ALREADY!)
I AM DONE.
Week 1 is in the books and a few things have gone down since my last commentary. Let me load up a clip and shoot these bullets!
- Josh Gordon is now selling cars in Ohio….Sarchione Auto group in Randolph, Ohio…Not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, I’m happy he’s doing something productive with his days as well as doing some community service work for the dealership, which definitely earns him some “brownie points” with whoever needs them…but I also feel this Auto Group is profiting from the spectacle as best they can, which mkaes me a little sad.
- Michael Sam made the Cowboys practice squad…Congrats to him on getting onto a team, period. I had my doubts he’d get added but Dallas definitely needs what he provides and I’m certain that he’ll be on the field @ some point this season due to the wear and tear of the season…
I’m glad he was able to get there on his own two…his own merits…wait…are you telling me NFL officials intervened? That they didn’t let this happen naturally and gently prodded this process along from the comfort of their air conditioned offices and desks and power strips?
This season continues to be a PR nightmare for the NFL.
- I heard a wild rumor that Carolina’s insistence on keeping Cam Newton’s supporting cast as underwhelming as possible is a ploy to keep his costs down when free agency rolls around (since stats play such a large role in how much one gets paid) …I think that’s a bit of a stretch (and most likely speculation) but it’s not out of the realm of possibility. I think Carolina’s sins of overpaying DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart (in regard to their salary cap) and shelling out top dollar to keep their defense relevant led to the loss of top flight talent for Cam Newton to throw to. But if the Panthers low ball Cam in the coming months when negotiations take place, the rumor turned out to be truth…
- Trent Richardson – the rise and supreme fall….I’m not saying he was ever supreme talent to begin with. But can someone explain to me how the Trent Richardson from Alabama is currently the Trent Richardson on the Colts? Is it that he performs better with elite blocking talent in front of him? Did he really love Cleveland that much that he’s been depressed ever since getting traded? Is it mental? I’d really like to know because of reasons….
- Champ Bailey is out of work. I do not expect that to be the case for too much longer.
- Former Steelers CB DeShea Townsend really needs to work on background checks for the people he rents his properties to…I can’t even recap the tomfoolery well enough to cover all the angles. Linkage here and here .
- Considering the way the San Francisco 49ers came out and played on Sunday afternoon, I’d like to believe those reports of Harbaugh losing the locker room were a bit overblown.
- Antonio Brown’s flying kick to Spencer Lanning, the Cleveland Browns punter’s head was wild.. As funny as it was upon first viewing (and all subsequent viewings TBH), I’m still expecting Antonio to get a decent sized fine and a possible suspension. Keyword: POSSIBLE. That can’t fly in the NFL because that would set one hell of a bad precedent, especially with the league trying to show how safe football is to the younger generations. Spencer Lanning should be grateful punters get helmets.
- Watching Tony Romo vs SF and Eli Manning vs. DET was like watching The Hangover II on DVD on repeat. Very unpleasant and the same old story in new surroundings.
- So you’re telling me that Jerry Jones is being sued and possibly extorted by a possible escort/confirmed former exotic dancer for a wild night back in 2009 that involved fellatio, plenty of inappropriate sexual touching on Jerry’s part, and some interesting photographs?
HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (this can only get worse before it gets better…)
- Andrew Luck may have the swag of Amish barnbuilder but the man can play some football.
- Josh Gordon and Wes Welker might be back on the field if they overhaul the drug program but what new problems may arise now that they’re checking for HGH? A lot of other dudes might definitely be getting the boot….Peyton, I know you got some HGH residue in your spinal column RIGHT NOW!!!! That’s why you broke that record last season…Explains SO MUCH!!!
- Another interesting thing that may only interest me is….why are people so quick to overhaul the drug policy now that Wes Welker got popped for MDMA? When Josh Gordon got busted, it was more like “Aw, let the kid rot!!”…once Wes Welker caught that L, now we’re in meetings and writing notes on legal pads and voting on ish?
- Ray Rice gets his own post. A quick bullet doesn’t even begin to talk about that situation..
And I’m all through for Week 1. See you in roughly seven days!
PUSHA T and G.O.O.D. music cannot see my man JERRY on the MIC, son! WHAT!!!
Hip hop is dead, people.
Jerry Jones killed it