Time to put the back of my hand to the forehead of the BTFL and take its temperature…noting some interesting stats/scores, player performances, injury concerns, management styles and future prognostications for the league…
First things first (..I’m the realest!),
Can’t say I expected three undefeated teams but in many instances, fantasy football and real life are mirror images.
I can’t say which team best resembles the Philadelphia Eagles, Cincinnati Bengals or the Arizona Cardinals but in the early going, each fantasy team has done whatever’s clever to get those W’s. Whether that be by steamrolling opponents by sheer point volume (Absolute Chaos and Winter Soldier) or just defeating the opponents that are on the schedule (Objective Hate), losses are not a part of their weekly diet…
On the flip side, we’ve got two winless squads but they’ve both slid to the basement in similar ways. Lack of production mostly. These two teams are stocked with players who were expected to have tough starts to their seasons, under-utilized rookies and role players, coming back from offseason surgeries or underperforming in a MAJOR way…. 0-3 doesn’t mean we should be playing Taps for them anytime soon, considering the volatility of the game we play, but they definitely need to hit their players with the defibrillators ASAP.
Bye week season is upon us and the cream finds a way to rise to the top in that process.
- Objective Hate’s seen the fewest points against so far this season, with a measly 259.
- Your humble commish has seen the most points by a wide margin. 487 and counting. Apparently everybody want to play their best against me and score above projections but I’m Pat Benatar out here!
- I know it’s early but considering our league’s track record, no one’s scored 200 points yet. (Closest was 191.)
- 18-1’s already got 17 waiver wire moves while Winter Soldierz only has 2. Waiver wire activity isn’t an exact science so critique on the numbers won’t come till later but the questions will be there: Are they making too many moves? Are they making too few? We shall see as the year goes along…
- LOL @ Automated Insights trying to SELL TOYOTA PRODUCTS DURING OUR GAME RECAPS!
Slipping in advertising is the last thing AI needs to do to keep us interested. We just want to play the game we love to play for bragging rights, trash talking purposes and amateur attempts at running a team of football players we enjoy watching or ripping to shreds. Shilling cars that are as exciting as bologna sandwiches will not be of any use to us. Keep it moving, chumps…
Those riding high so far this season (unexpectedly so): Andrew Luck, Austin Davis (more total points than Tom Brady), Kirk Cousins, Geno Smith (who has more total points than Tony Romo – wtf!), Steve Smith, Sr., Kelvin Benjamin, DeAndre Hopkins, Mohamed Sanu (aka backup QB), Brian Quick, Allan Hurns (aka Hitman Hurns), Darren Sproles (not this good), Mark Ingram, Justin Forsett, Chris Ivory, Lamar Miller, Isaiah Crowell, Knile Davis, Ahmad Bradshaw ( he just won’t go away!), Martellus Bennett, Delanie walker, Niles Paul, Larry Donnell, Jared Cook (if he pushed off defenders like he did his QB, he’s have WAY more points!), and the Chicago DEF.
Those riding dirty like Chamillionaire (also unexpectedly so): Aaron Rodgers (R-E-L-A-X? NAH!), Tom Brady, Ryan Tannehill (couldn’t go deep on a mining expedition!), Toby Gerhart, Chris Johnson, Frank Gore, Eddie Lacy, Shane Vereen, the entire OAK backfield, Montee Ball, Demaryius Thomas, Andre Johnson, Reggie Wayne, Sammy Watkins, Stevie Johnson, Keenan Allen, Marques Colston, Vincent Jackson, Charles Clay, Kyle Rudolph, Jason Witten, Jordan Cameron, Vernon Davis and the New Orleans DEF.
Juicy Matchups Forthcoming:
Week 4: Winter Soldierz v Charles in Charge, Objective Hate v. Absolute Chaos
Week 6: Kneel Before Xerxes v Objective Hate,
Week 7: Kneel Before Xerxes v Absolute Chaos, Winter Soldierz v. Objective Hate,
ALL OF WEEK 8. ALL OF IT. EVERY SINGLE GAME. I WISH I COULD DVR IT BUT THERE’S NO WAY TO DO SO.
Week 9: Charles in Charge v Objective Hate
A Look into the Crystal Ball
- According to Yahoo projections, Absolute Chaos is supposed to have a 14-0 regular season. I don’t see that happening. No shade but 14-0 has never been done and will be insanely tough to do with this ever-changing league we’re in.
- Speaking of undefeated, I think one of the undefeated teams loses in Week 4. I’ve got a strong feeling on that one! (especially since two of them are facing off in a head to head matchup – LOL)
- One of the undefeated teams makes a run during bye week season to get back into contention.
- As do 2 of the 1-2 teams (I happen to be in that pack of 4 teams but I’m not saying it’s me…I’m just saying though…)
- If Objective Hate gets through the minefield that is Weeks 4 – 9, he’s got a good shot @ really reversing course from last year…
- Some trades will be made this year. More so than years past. The amount of injuries in the league this year seem to have tripled and no one’s getting simple ankle sprains and stingers. These are multi-week injuries and relying on journeymen and rookies can only take a team so far this year. Email inboxes will be flooded with offers. Bank on it.
And on that bombshell, I bid you all adieu.
Stay vigilant. Set your lineups and give yourself the best chance at winning in all matchups that don’t involve me, because I want everyone to lose to me. Against all other competitors, go ape…go ham…get turnt…do whatever it is you need to score points and get that W. I know I’ll be doing the same…
And I expect everyone to come after me like I was a son to Adrian Peterson, switch in hand…but I will be ready for you all!