Well, well, well…Look @ Yahoo tryna make all these new additions to the league page!!!!
They added some gif functionality on the message boards and now we’ve got recaps with detailed breakdowns, percentages, catchy titles…hell, we’ve got FOUR types of graphs! FOUR!! Sponsored by the leading provider of automated sports content for the web and mobile….
It’s been real but I’m not sure I can compete with the big corporations and the “machine” trying to keep little outfits like mine down and out….
I guess I should just pack up my little hobo bindle and shuffle along….since I’m no longer necessary….Yahoo got it all sewn up like a quilt!
Tip your 40 to my memory, fellow managers….
Automated content ain’t got no soul, no heart, no sense of humor, no intimate knowledge of manager matchups…I appreciate some of what’s up there but no way in Hades is this going to throw me off, slow my roll or prevent me from making these each and every week for the enjoyment of my fellow managers.
So without further ado, I present our week 1 breakdown:
The Eric B & Rakim Award for Excellence
…..to the Suicide Kings
Welcome to the 2Hundred club! With an opening week like that, everyone else has to follow your lead.
Romo and Bryant set the pace with 57 points last Wednesday, and the rest of your team followed suit and put up crooked numbers like Michael J Fox writing math problems on a chalkboard….I wanted to question why you didn’t start Stevie Johnson but there’s no faulting any of your players’ production, even if you wanted to send Lance Moore to a graveyard down in Nawlins after 3 quarters…Funny how garbage time works out for certain people…Never rip a player until the game’s over. I’m sure you learned that valuable lesson Week 1.
You’ve set the standard for the season with this performance.
To LXG, goes the Little Mermaid Statue…
because you were a poor, unfortunate soul for having to run up against a 200 in week 1.
I give your team credit for fighting off a complete buttwhooping. 150plus would’ve taken out most of the teams in the league this week…but you just so happened to run into a buzzsaw this week. It happens. You got to shake it off , get that roster ready and get yourself ready for your next opponent…..
Wait a second.
You’ve got me next week?
Consider me Bernie Mac in this scene. You’re the 3 people that come up to him…LOL
The rest of the matchups this week…
Kansas City Shuffle (5 Wide) – 143 v Absolute Chaos (3 RB/3WR) – 127
My receivers decided to start the season off well, except Wes Welker….Staffy threw for 350 yards but didn’t get those meaningful points until LATE in the game. Matty Ice proved he might have to get the start more often than not…Absolute Chaos decided to counter with some major beef on the offense but Colston coughed up a fumble at the goal line that would’ve made this REAL close….I had to sweat out the Monday night competitors too but dodged a major bullet. Ronnie Brown looked like Buster Brown in that San Diego offense and the Buffalo defense picked one helluva week to part like the Red Sea. The Jets are that good?
18-1 (3WR/3RB) – 162 v. On 3 Ready Break (3WR/3RB) – 147
This one had all the makings of an upset. 18-1 was up only 50 and On 3 had FIVE guys going on Monday but 18’s two Monday players, Ray Rice and the Baltimore D, gave him a good final push. Flacco looked good, bombing the Cincinnati secondary…but Torrey Smith didn’t really blow up. Antonio Gates got hurt (shocker!!!) and dropped more balls than a bocce tournament…Keshawn Martin, doe?
EasyBreesyBeautiful (3WR/2TE) – 113 v. Dawg Pound Warriors (3WR/3RB) – 127
The lowest scoring game of the week 1. What can you do? A lot of underperforming on both teams’ rosters…but Fred Jackson’s 1 cost EasyBreesy a shot @ victory. RG3’s big day is unfortunate considering it may have put you ahead this week but Brees was starting week 1. We all knew that. That and the fact that Green Bay’s secondary played more like bullfighters than cornerbacks/safeties. Better days are ahead for both teams in terms of point output….We shall see how each team adjusts going forward.
Curb Your Enthusiasm (4WR) – 174 v. XMen (4WR) – 127
This was a whipping when you look at the final numbers. A lot of produce from unexpected places (Crabtree, Holmes) and from the usual suspects (Rodgers, A. Johnson, Maclin) got Curb the win. The X-Men had some good showings but sitting Adrian Peterson cost you some major points. The fantasy community did advise against the starting of him on day 1 but Peterson bucked the trend and turned his 1st day on the field into 2TDs….Then you toss in Rashad Jennings taking the 2nd half off because MJD wanted his job back…You’ve got yourself a loss.
LXG (3RB 2TE) – 154 v Suicide Kings (5 WR) – 206
See above commentary
So week 1 is in the books. 5 teams up, 5 teams down. I must say this 5th season of this league may prove to be the most competitive one yet. Some of these starting rosters look bulletproof! These projections are reflections of how well people drafted this year and added some good value off of waivers already. This season could get interesting QUICKLY if some teams fall behind in the standings…
I’ve got to make sure to get these done by Wednesday @ the latest. With this new NFL schedule starting the new week on Thursdays, there’s not much down time to get these done. But the flip side is that it may be easier to get it down in a post because the storylines are fresher, and the outcomes are right there for me to start typing up right after the Monday Night Football game goes off.
And with that, we reach the end of another blog post, full of wit, mirth and humorous tidbits. Let’s keep the competition fierce, the waiver wire pickups plentiful and the trade offers fair and equal, unless someone out there offers you a beaut that you just can’t pass up!
Until next week, folks!