Hello, all. Back in the building with another recap for us all. This week gave us an idea of who’s going to have it tough for the rest of the season. LXG (more on that team in a later segment) and On 3…Ready Break are really in dire straits considering their records right now. They need wins now. Not later, not maybe soon, NOW. If they don’t go on a roll right now, it’s looking like curtains for them now. Let’s see if we can get some prayer for them….
These teams have to turn it around in a hurry. LXG is looking like the Philadelphia Eagles right now…and I’m not sure he wants that distinction hanging over his head like the Sword of Damocles….(literary references FTW).. If I could tie On 3 to a team, it’d be the Rams. And no one wants to play like either of those two teams right now. So fix up, look sharp fellas or its going to be over quicker than you can say Dizzee Rascal.
Remember when this guy was supposed to be the next big thing? Yeah…me neither..
Onto the Week 5 recap, shall we?
It’s been a couple of weeks but we finally have a blowout worthy of writing about so…
The Goldberg Jackhammer Award of the Week (brought to you by Jumpin Joey, Bill Goldberg and the now-defunct WCW) is…..
Absolute Chaos… Woof. A 60 point thrashing at the hands of Brady’s Golden Locks. What’s worse about this whole thing is that the Golden Lock defense (Kansas City) managed a zero, so all 174 points came from 9 players with Ochocinco only contributing 4 points to the mix. Amazing! I could question you for not playing Marques Colston considering your opponent had Drew but the points he scored weren’t too big a difference in the final score. 4 extra points only brings down the margin of victory just a little bit. That’s picking nits at that point.
Your starters @ WR had tough matchups against tough defenses. And that Philly defense got shredded (as if their MO these days) and Philip really misses his offense. I dunno what’s going on in SD in regard to wellness but they are dropping like flies out on the West Coast with strains, ligament damage, concussions and the like….
Onto our heartbreaker of the week…
The Lovie Smith is on Medication Award (Sponsored by DayQuil & NyQuil)
goes to… LXG…This one hurts to my very core. Once again, the 3 to 1 advantage was in your favor. Granted, you can’t assume Pettigrew would get a touchdown against the Chicago Cover 2 defense but you owned an aggressive Lions front four who were destined to get sacks against those turnstiles in Chicago Bears jerseys with 50s, 60s and 70s on the back. Plus you had a kicker indoors, which is always a good look. And 18-1 only had a kicker himself, who you figured wouldn’t be busy with FG’s, just extra points.
This loss is squarely on the shoulders of coach, (and I use that term loosely), Lovie Smith. First drive of the game (which was torture to watch with these two eyes) leads to a 4th and 1. Cutler goes out to get the Lions D-Line to jump offsides but they show discipline and stay still (say what? Eagles couldn’t do it? #shame)…So the Bears call a timeout. Perfectly fine with that. You figure they come back out, kick the FG, take the points on the road and fight the good fight…But Lovie has other ideas. He puts his offense back out on the field without their short yardage back, Marion Barber, and decided to run straight ahead with Matt Forte. Forte isn’t the issue here. RUNNING THE BALL WHEN EVERYBODY EXPECTS YOU TO AND YOU HAVE A CRAP OFFENSIVE LINE is where I have the issue. Forte gets swallowed up by Suh and company. To add insult to the turnover on downs, LOVIE SMITH THROWS THE CHALLENGE FLAG ABOUT THE SPOT!!! The ball clearly had not gone past said line of scrimmage and you go and waste a second timeout? WTF are you doing??? Get this guy back down to a defensive coordinator ASAP. His coaching style is lackluster at best..
So LXG, blame Lovie for this one.
I can’t give you too hard a time about leaving the Law Firm on the bench considering the matchup. I will give you a hard time about using LaDainian Tomlinson though. HE IS WASHED UP like dishes after dinnertime!
Onto the high scorers of the week
The Joe Esposito Awards (for the best around)
QBs: Ben Roethlisberger (51!!), Matt Cassel (48 – say what? Colts SUCK), Drew Brees (43- ho-hum), A-Rod (40 – beast amongst other beasts)
WRs: Dwayne Bowe (31 – amazed at his consistency), Pierre Garcon (29 – Painter has his number)
RBs: Fred Jackson (31- sippin a milkshake in a snowstorm!), Adrian Peterson (30 – is he new to this league? Never heard of him..)
TEs: Joel Dreessen (22 – fluke), Jimmy Graham (20 – BEAST)
K: Sebastian Janikowski (20- for AL!), Nick Novak (19 – kind of a lot)
DEF: San Fran (22 – stomped TBs backside!), Seattle (21 – that pick six was huge)
To my week 5 opponent…
I bet you were pounding your chest like Derrick Rose scoring a layup to close a 16-0 run.
Just letting you know….
A few breaks got you on top (#phrasing) but we have shall meet again….We shall meet again….
And with that, we reach the end of another blog post, full of wit, mirth and humorous tidbits. Let’s keep the competition fierce, the waiver wire pickups plentiful and the trade offers fair and equal, unless someone out there offers you a beaut that you just can’t pass up!
Until next week, folks!